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So always being forcefully upbeat is often a tactic to hide parts of ourselves and avoid deep connection.
This habit of deflecting any focus away from yourself might see you come across as a ‘real friend’.
Being constantly busy all the time means you can avoid such feelings so effectively you can deny that you have them at all.
Even better, you have the perfect excuse to not have time for other people who are trying to get close. So your days remain full of tasks, and people remain kept at bay.
The real truth was that she was lonely and felt that nobody knew her.
If someone falls for an image of you they want to see (but which you willingly provide), how can you be hurt if they decide they don’t like the image?
Your perfectionism acts as a way to intimidate others, and it keeps you too busy for relationships, anyway.
Another form of perfection, the ‘ideal mate list’ is usually something that nobody can live up to, and is a convenient way to brush off connecting with others by claiming ‘I am sure of what I want and you just aren’t it.’ So you will pick someone who is emotionally unavailable (already taken, not looking for love, still hung up on someone else).
The more perfect you appear externally, the less others can see that you are human and weak just like they are, and the less they will dare get close.The first step is to get out of denial about your fear of intimacy and admit that there is an issue.