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Do men actually ENJOY the endless tedium and stress of going on a string of disappointing dates? My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both. So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women:1. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships.
Or does it all simply come down to the capriciousness of the female orgasm – since men can have an orgasm with practically anyone, they don’t much care who they’re with, whereas if a woman finds someone who’s actually good in bed she’s desperate to hang on to him?! When a man hangs out with another man, he’ll watch sports, play poker, talk trash, grab a few drinks, and maybe talk about whether he’s hooking up.
I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.
A few thoughts off the top of my head:• Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men.
In many cultures, it is invoked in stories with the moral to marry your daughters off young, to prevent their disgracing the family because they just can't control themselves.
Although mostly a Forgotten Trope and/or Discredited Trope today, this trope which portrays the female conquest/male submission ritual, made a comeback first in seventies music in which a female vocalist sings about cruising for and propositioning guys for sex and then in the early eighties, in movies and on TV shows in which beautiful sexually adventurous women are the ones who pick up guys, take them to bed and initiate the sexual encounters. No Guy Wants to Be Chased, but what are you going to do? In order for this trope to apply to a modern work, women have to be depicted as man-chasers by default.
Why aren’t they just as keen as we are to know “where things are going” early on in the relationship? I particularly love your list of what sucks about being single.
1 in 48 men.• 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women.This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun.